It feels good to receive a compliment.
Compliments bring positive feelings that are the result of discovering that someone has noticed something about you they deemed worthy of praise.
Compliments are important components of sociability and are also useful devices for beginning conversations. Some people find giving compliments to be an uncomfortable venture because of personal uncertainties.
I know alot of you are probably thinking “I compliment people on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook etc on a regular basis. Lets face it social media compliments make us feel a temporary sense of confidence, but nothing beats a good old fashioned compliment telling you how well your top brings out your eyes, or how amazing your new dress fits.
There is of course a compliment etiquette which is as follows
- Be genuine. When you say compliments that you don’t mean, people can almost always tell. If you really mean the thing you say, they’ll be much more likely to believe you and feel good about what you say.
Try to look someone in the eye when you compliment them. This helps show that you mean what you’re saying.
- Be respectful. Make sure what you’re saying to someone isn’t offensive, even if you “mean it to be a compliment”. If your compliment is based on their race or their physical appearance, you’re venturing into dangerous territory. If your compliment comes with a qualifier (ex. “You look nice for a…”), you probably should just keep it to yourself.
For example, telling a black woman that she is pretty for a black girl
- Don’t compliment fish If your compliment sounds like you are fishing for one in return this will make you seem self-centered
Finding Things to Compliment
- Avoid overly familiar compliments, like compliments about their sexual characteristics.
Compliment things they obviously take pride in, such as a a nice pair of shoes, or a well kept house
Compliment their actions or talent. This removes most of the creep factor.
- If complimenting a romantic interest. Remember that just because you’re nice to someone doesn’t mean they owe you anything. They don’t even owe it to you to be flattered by the compliment.
- Compliment them with your actions. In romance, doing something nice for someone can often be more effective than saying something nice to someone.
- Sometimes, just telling them how attractive you find them is enough. Especially if they’re already dating you.
- When Complimenting a coworker keep it appropriate. Awkward work compliments can bring on all sorts of trouble. Use the grandma test: if you wouldn’t say it to your grandmother, don’t say it to your coworker. Shoot for compliments on their work. This can also help avoid awkwardness.Compliment them to or in front of your boss. This shows not only how much you mean it but that you think they are worthy of even higher commendation.